Hofman

Well, heregoes...



This is my frantic attempt at organising the events of the past two weeks. I left this until the very end to summarize, and at this point, a lot is blending together. The minutes. The hours. The kilometers. They’re just all one object in my mind now. I wanted to wait until it could all set into my mind before I made any note of it, but it never really came until now. Sitting in a buffet on my laptop, probably looking like an idiot with a plate of food between me and the computer, going taka taka as my food gets cold. I always thought it was novel to travel so far from home by myself, to experience what I could traveling as an adult with nobody but myself to rely on. If my car broke down, if I couldn’t access any of my money, if I had no communication: I would have only myself to get through it. So here I am, somewhere in the Atlantic typing away my final fleeting thoughts of something much bigger than I anticipated. I counted the kilometers from home- up to 1000, 2000, 4000, 5000, and somewhere stopped keeping track until I found myself in Newfoundland, over 8000km from home with just a thought that, “Oh, I’m pretty far from home. Probably the farthest I’ve ever been. Neat.” However, the thought never really sunk in. It merely passed through my head like one of the 100 million moose warning signs in Ontario. I wasn’t really sure what that entailed, as in, why I didn’t feel what I expected when I had that thought. I mean, I originally planned the trip solely with the act of just getting as far from home as I could, but that idea grew and grew until it was much more. It had become an adventure(put simply). I was a little concerned that I hadn’t felt much about the whole trip. Maybe I’m just a level headed guy who doesn’t let the weight of a moment get to me? Well, apparently not, because something compelled me to pull my laptop out of my bag right in the middle of dinner and spew out this projectile vomit of thoughts all at once.



This is the clear exposition of my aspirations, motives and mostly my subconscious telling me some of my most personal feelings. From walking on the ocean floor, to sleeping in my car, to standing on a cliff of the most easterly point in North America, I was afraid I’d go all that way by myself and never take anything away from it. I was afraid that because I was going alone, I’d never have anything relative to anybody that I could use from my experience. Maybe I am just clawing for reasons to justify that what I did was a good, life altering experience, but all that I can say is that my only intent is to grow as a person. Not doing this for stories; nothing for the ego. Feeding the soul, if you will. However, this sudden realisation of something isn’t as vague as most fleeting realisations I have are. This is funny, because it’s a feeling that I can barely put into words even though I understand it completely. There’s something about being somewhere new, walking through streets and embracing history that gives you so much new motivation and energy. I left home, sick of work and tired of people, and now I feel that the sooner I get back to work, the sooner I can take another adventure. If there’s a way I can incorporate this into my life, then that’s wonderful. If it means I need to leave what family and friends I have behind for extended periods of time every so often, or sacrificing things that I enjoy, then so be it. I know now that traveling is something that I need, and it’s always going to be a conscious effort of mine to explore somewhere new because I know no matter how long I do this for and however many places I see, I’ll still always be able to explore somewhere new. And if I could do something differently, I would make it so I wasn’t alone. It’s funny enough to joke about being forever alone, but traveling alone gets pretty lonesome after a while. I think there was a point where I went 3 or 4 days without talking to anybody. Not only that, I feel like if that extra head(or more) were around to share thoughts and ideas then there are even more possibilities of exploring something great, something that a lot of people may just go right past and miss completely- people like me; people traveling alone.


And now, writing this in my basement as a way to end this bag of words, I'd just like to share what I can with you guys. I can't tell anybody how to live, but if there's anything I would suggest for those who would like to know, is that you shouldn't dwell on opportunity. I had the brief opportunity of taking this trip, so I did. I mean, it cost me my job, but you have to expect some circumstances when you leave so abruptly... but it's still worth it. It may not be traveling for you, but something you've always wanted to do: just do it. The longer you think about it, you start worrying and reconsider, and just end up falling back into what you're familiar with. Everyone deserves to be happy, and I don't see enough people trying to attain that, but you'll never be happy if you don't take a risk now and then.